Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
