i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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