I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
