I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
