Sry I called you an 8
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
