Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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