My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
