i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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