I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Success! We fucked roommates!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize