And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
