so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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