Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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