she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he puts the penis in happiness.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
