I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think I sprained my soul last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
