literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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