Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
