i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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