Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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