Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
