is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
