5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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