I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
