I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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