You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish you could order shots online.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
