I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
