I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
