remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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