You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
