sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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