he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize