all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
