There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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