I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
