yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
