Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
