STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
