allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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