That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
