Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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