I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
