Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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