Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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