butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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