That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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