i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The beer is more important than you right now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
