THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
