:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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