so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize