woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
