a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
