Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Come on in and take your pants off
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