wanna go halves on a baby?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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