if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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