there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
