you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
