so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
