I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
