i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
