i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i've created a new STD.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
