And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
